light reading on nigeria

This joke has been passed around amongst us volunteers, and I just want to share it so you guys get an idea about this country from other people. I don't know who wrote this but I found it pretty funny: A man dies & goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country and decides he‘ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to the German hell & asks, “What do they do here?” He is told “first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.” The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell. Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long queue of people waiting to get in. Amazed he asks, “what do they do here?” he is told “first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Nigerian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day.” “but that is exactly the same as all the other hells, why are there so many people waiting to get in?” asks the man. A concerned fellow calls him aside and said, “Because there is never any electricity so the electric chair doesn’t work. The nails were paid for but were never supplied by the contractor, so the bed is comfortable to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant, so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home for another business!!”

Changes

The remarkable changes I’ve seen:

1, We now have shiny new paper currency, half its original size! First time I saw it, I almost said to the taxi driver, what, you’re giving me a 20-euro change?!?

2, The bus from Abuja to Calabar (a 10-hour trip at least) is now airconditioned all the way. Of course that doesn’t mean it’s actually cool all the way.

3, Some parts of the highway have actually been fixed! Hallelujah! Probably the same phenomenon as roads in the Philippines when election time draws near…

4, Every single street in Calabar, even the most obscure, has a sign!

5, The motorcycle drivers (our equivalent to tricycles) are now required to register and wear helmets.

As for my village, it has now started raining heavily in the afternoons, and there are two new establishments, but other than that nothing has changed.